All Hat, No Nukes T‑Shirt — Defense Contractor Funny Graphic Tee
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 16.50 | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 8.60 | 8.90 | 9.20 | 9.50 | 9.70 | 10.00 | 10.40 | 10.80 | 11.20 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
Tex Randall approves this message. He's also a giant narcissist and loves the attention.
This lightweight crew-neck tee wears like a conversation starter. Soft Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton keeps the feel breathable and broken-in, while the retail fit and clean neckline make it easy to layer or wear alone. Front chest text sits small and subtle; the back carries a bold illustrated design — a vintage-style ranger posed atop a stylized bomb with the curved headline, “I wouldn’t if I were you, partner.” The result is a playful, slightly irreverent look that reads like a band shirt, a roadside poster, and a statement piece all at once. It’s built with thoughtful details — side seams for structure, ribbed collar that keeps its shape, shoulder tape for stability, and a tear-away label for comfort — and produced under REACH and fair-labor certifications. Wear it on road trips, at backyard barbecues, or when you want an easy tee that sparks smiles and stories.
Product features
- 100% Airlume combed & ring-spun cotton (lightweight 4.2 oz) for breathable comfort
- Retail fit with crew neckline — neat, easy to layer or wear solo
- Durable construction: side seams, ribbed collar, and shoulder tape for shape retention
- Print methods: crisp Direct-to-Film (DTF) for most locations; DTG used by select printers for vibrant sleeve/label prints
- Tear-away label, REACH certified, ethically manufactured (Fair Labor Association / WRAP)
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dryclean
With side seams
Located along the sides, they help hold the garment's shape longer and give it structural support
Ribbed knit collar with seam
Ribbed knit makes the collar highly elastic and helps retain its shape
Shoulder tape
Twill tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching
Sleeve Printing Techniques
Most providers fulfill their sleeve prints using the Direct-to-Film (DTF) method, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. TextilDruck and Fulfill Engine use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their sleeves, providing vibrant colors and a smooth finish
Neck Label Printing Techniques
Most providers print their labels using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Meanwhile, TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels, providing vibrant colors and a smooth finish
Age restrictions
For adults
Other compliance information
REACH Certified
Country of origin
Blank product sourced from Honduras
Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F); Non-chlorine: bleach as needed; Tumble dry: low heat; Iron, steam or dry: medium heat; Do not dryclean.
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Any goods purchased can only be returned in accordance with the Terms and Conditions and Returns Policy.
We want to make sure that you are satisfied with your order and we are committed to making things right in case of any issues. We will provide a solution in cases of any defects if you contact us within 30 days of receiving your order.
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